very nicely depicted.... the pain as a person.... it won't be understood by evrerybody.... but after every dusk, there is dawn.....so the moral is never loose hope.... eventhough the pain can be greater than the suffering......
k.its a great poem....wel sumtimes....suffering is d best medicine 2 a heart....sumtimes...pain is all u need..to fulfil ur heart....sumtimes...pain n suffering r d only way u can survive in dis world...so keep ritin...n njoyin....its a great n bloodied hell goin poem... keep it up...n keep dem cumin...
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nice depiction and the imagery of human emotions.....language thodi bhaari hai........ :)
mighty good poem . except for a few things :try not to use repetitive words unless they are in a chorus . for eg : blood , curse etctry to keep the language simple.most times things can be best expressed in the most simple words. though this doesn't mean that you compromise on the feel of the poem . Cheers !! Keep 'em coming !!PS : gave me inspiration to write another poem too . THNX :D :D
Good yaar :DBhatti what is your inspiration man!!!
We have taken birth to endure sorrow, grief, pain and sufferings thats what we do most of the time......highs and lows of life......bhatti bhai u have presented all this awsomely....... :)
When is the next installment going to come?Come out of your slumber..
excerpt frm ode 2d west wind by P B Shelley,"i fall upon the thorns of life, i bleed.."frm d same poem later.."the trumpet of a prophecy! o wind, if winter comes can spring be far behind?"it seems 2 really fit in here..:))
very nicely depicted.... the pain as a person.... it won't be understood by evrerybody.... but after every dusk, there is dawn.....so the moral is never loose hope.... eventhough the pain can be greater than the suffering......
ReplyDeletek.
ReplyDeleteits a great poem....
wel sumtimes....suffering is d best medicine 2 a heart....
sumtimes...pain is all u need..to fulfil ur heart....
sumtimes...pain n suffering r d only way u can survive in dis world...
so keep ritin...n njoyin....
its a great n bloodied hell goin poem... keep it up...
n keep dem cumin...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletenice depiction and the imagery of human emotions.....language thodi bhaari hai........ :)
ReplyDeletemighty good poem . except for a few things :
ReplyDeletetry not to use repetitive words unless they are in a chorus . for eg : blood , curse etc
try to keep the language simple.most times things can be best expressed in the most simple words. though this doesn't mean that you compromise on the feel of the poem .
Cheers !! Keep 'em coming !!
PS : gave me inspiration to write another poem too . THNX :D :D
Good yaar :D
ReplyDeleteBhatti what is your inspiration man!!!
We have taken birth to endure sorrow, grief, pain and sufferings thats what we do most of the time......highs and lows of life......
ReplyDeletebhatti bhai u have presented all this awsomely....... :)
When is the next installment going to come?
ReplyDeleteCome out of your slumber..
excerpt frm ode 2d west wind by P B Shelley,
ReplyDelete"i fall upon the thorns of life, i bleed.."
frm d same poem later..
"the trumpet of a prophecy! o wind, if winter comes can spring be far behind?"
it seems 2 really fit in here..:))